"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 3"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I laid down a plan to tell her how I really felt about her. I thought that this way, if I could get my feelings out in the open, everything would fall into place, that everything would be all right.

So I asked her out. So out we went. Took in some city sights, got lunch, got coffee, played arcade games, talked a lot, had fun. And all the while, my planned confession kept getting pushed to the back of my mind. Finally, on the way home, I thought I could finally be able to say it, and yet, I found myself increasingly unable to speak. Unable to say just a few simple words. Unable to articulate a spiel I had practiced in front of my mirror.

I just couldn’t say it…..

How could I ?.......

To be Continued .....

"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 2"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I fell in love. It sounds nice, except with one tiny problem. I fell in love with a friend. Someone who I had shared ideas and advice with. Someone who trusted me. And now I was about to betray that trust. I was in a quandary. I didn’t know what to do! I knew, or at least surmised that she still had some things to work out with her former relationships: I thought she still loved her ex - boyfriend, years after they broke up. And not to mention that we considered her ex – boyfriend one of our circle as well. Yeah. A big fat mess I was in, all right.

But as much as I knew that I would regret telling her how I felt, I knew I would regret it more if I didn’t tell her how I felt.

So I planned a way to tell her how I felt.

But then again, plans rarely survive their first contact with reality…….

To be Continued...

"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 1"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I first met her a bit under a year ago. I played Magic: The Gathering at this little cubbyhole of a hobby store at the mall near my home. So there I was, dicking around with my friends and in she walks. She was small, a tad under 5 feet, and had on this cute little uniform on that identified her as a student of a well known university. We were entranced, to say the least. See, we haven’t seen a female of the same species take a liking to the game we played regularly in a while. She and her friends quickly became part of our small community, and we all became friends with her as well. It was great. We had some great times, and shared a lot of laughs. In a way, she became the group’s little sister, our mascot, if you will. We played pranks on each other, shared snacks, game cards and advice. Then things changed, at least for me.

It started a couple of weeks ago. I had been feeling more and bitterer about life than I usually did, which was par the course for me. She came in after having been absent for quite a while, which meant a lot of catching up would be in order. We fell to chatting up on a messenger service while I was at work. As I opened up to her, I felt like my blinders were being taken off, and I began seeing her in a brand new light: not just the group’s little sister, but a person. A woman.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

I Fell. Hard and fast.

So now the question is, where do I go from here?

To Be Continued.....