The End

I see her, the face of my lover.
I feel her, her silken skin under my touch.
I hear her, the voice of an angel.
I reach out…….

Rain. I love rain. Somehow, it feels cathartic. Cleansing. I am getting wet right now, but I don’t mind, I’m growing cold, but I don’t mind. It feels…..nice, as if my worries are fading away….. And suddenly, I think of my immediate past…….

I remember that fated night, I remember seeing her sitting at the bar, her dress clinging to her body, her lovely face and her eyes, alight and shining with mischief and intelligence, almost like she knew a joke no one else did. I was captivated. And when she went to the stage and began to sing, I was lost…….

Now why am I thinking of that night? Damn, I’m cold……..

A siren, with her beautiful voice….. I was rapt with attention. I was falling…. I went near and introduced myself, asked her out for a drink. She laughed and demurred, she said she had a pressing engagement, but thanked me for the drink. As she left the bar, I followed her with my eyes as she exited the place….. And suddenly I remembered: I forgot to get her name. Idiot.

I began haunting that place, hoping to catch a glimpse of my siren again. Every night, I waited, hoping, praying. And then I saw her again….

Our eyes met….

And Zeus smote man with his thunderbolts, and Odin struck the world with his spear…..

A slight smile curved her lips as she saw me at my table. Gesturing to the band, she walked over, while launching into a sultry rendition of “ The look of love”…..

Damn. Why these thoughts? Suddenly my knees feel weak…. And my arms feel heavy and numb….

That was where it began. Flowers. Cards. Little things that made her laugh, like that damn ugly stuffed pig he won for her during one date at the county fair. Or the time they made a mess of her apartment kitchen while cooking dinner. Gadding about town, taking in the sights they only looked at, but never really saw before…..


My chest is on fire. The numbness is spreading and my vision is fading. Dammit, what’s happening to me?

I remember the first time we kissed, the storm that raged outside her apartment that night. I remember the confused and sad look on her face as we broke apart. I thought back to the tears in her eyes. And I remembered the sadness as she told me her secret…..


She told me of her husband, of the troubles she faced. He was a cop, a corrupt man, evil and amoral. She told me of the beatings, of the sadistic ways he took her. Of the schemes he forced her to participate in.

I look at my left arm, and a trickle of blood falls….Shot? I was shot?

I thought of our love-making, of the pain-pleasure we felt. Of our questing hearts and hands. I resolved to get to the bottom of the problem. I was a cop. I would confront her husband. I would bring him down. I would save her, and myself. I would save us both…..

Flashing lights and police sirens. I gaze down at my right hand and see that I still hold my gun…. Then I see her , tears in her eyes, and she’s mouthing words I cannot hear….

I walk to her. I drop my gun and lurch forward…I cannot feel my legs anymore. She moves toward me, and I collapse in her arms. She gazes at me and tells me “Please forgive me.”

And I say, just before the light claims me “I love you.”

A goodbye to my lover

A goodbye to my lover

A story by TG Cid

The young man slowly stretched, yawned and sat up from the bed. Sleepily rubbing his eyes, he looked at the alarm clock on the desk near his bed. Checking the time, he found it to 9:30 in the evening. The young man arched his neck, and stretched again, before looking down on the sleeping figure lying beside him. A slight, sad smile curved over his lips as he gazed upon the wonder beside him, the figure of his lover. Yes, his lover. Not his girlfriend nor his wife, His lover. A secret, illicit affair that began as something else entirely. A friendship, mayhap. Staring, his eyes misted over as his thoughts drifted to the past……

Then suddenly, his thoughts were lost as he heard her voice beckoning, asking of him, in her most tender way : “What are you thinking, love?” He looked at her, with tears of sadness and a ghost of a smile on his lips, answered “I was thinking of you , love. Of you and forever.” “Silly.” Said his lover, smiling at him warmly, before sitting up on the bed, letting the covers slide off of her body as she cupped his tear-streaked face in her hands, “don’t think of the unknown. Think of our now.” His shoulders rocked with his sobs and she brought his head to her bosom, like the way one would comfort a crying child. She stroked his back with her tender touch and soothed him as he wept on her , weeping tears of desolation and loss.

As his sobs weakened, she reached for his face, a face which would forever haunt her dreams, and softly whispered in his ear, “think of me only and of how happy you made me these past months. Think of how we both have grown. And think of the beautiful future ahead of you.”

He opened his eyes and asked her simply “Did I really make you happy?”

“You did. So very much.”

“Then why end it this way?”

“Because it’s better this way. For both of us.”

He closed his eyes and asked her “How can it be better when we’re breaking each other’s hearts? How can it be better when we’re hurting each other like this? How?”

“Because we’d hurt each other more if we stay together. And I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

He whispered in reply : "Then hurt me one last time." Before he swept forward and kissed her.

Keeping his lips on hers, he slowly pushed his lover back on the bed. Still kissing each other passionately, the young man swept his hands and removed the blanket covering the rest of his lover’s body whilst she ran her hands tenderly over her lover’s chest…… And soon the fires of passion consumed both as they consummated their vows of love for the very last time, all the while calling out each others names and speaking their words of love…...

And as the fires cooled down, they whispered to each other,

“Good bye, my lover, goodbye…..”

The Morning will come:

Hey!

I know this seems like the coward’s way, but leaving you while you slept was far easier than confronting you this morning. Don’t think badly of me, please, even if I know what happened between us would basically be my fault.

Why I kept the fact that I was already in a relationship from you when we began seeing each other is beyond me. I probably thought I could have my cake and eat it too. But I was wrong. So wrong. I thought I could control things but I was wrong. You see, as you fell in love with me, I fell in love with you too. And it was wrong because I already loved another….but it did not stop me from falling for you. Deeply.

So I now pray, my love, that you will find the happiness that I can never give you. I pray that you will find that special someone who will change your life and change your thoughts of sadness to happiness. And most of all, I pray for your well-being. Never forget that you will always have a special place in my heart. Forever.

I will always love you,

XXXXXX

"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 3"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I laid down a plan to tell her how I really felt about her. I thought that this way, if I could get my feelings out in the open, everything would fall into place, that everything would be all right.

So I asked her out. So out we went. Took in some city sights, got lunch, got coffee, played arcade games, talked a lot, had fun. And all the while, my planned confession kept getting pushed to the back of my mind. Finally, on the way home, I thought I could finally be able to say it, and yet, I found myself increasingly unable to speak. Unable to say just a few simple words. Unable to articulate a spiel I had practiced in front of my mirror.

I just couldn’t say it…..

How could I ?.......

To be Continued .....

"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 2"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I fell in love. It sounds nice, except with one tiny problem. I fell in love with a friend. Someone who I had shared ideas and advice with. Someone who trusted me. And now I was about to betray that trust. I was in a quandary. I didn’t know what to do! I knew, or at least surmised that she still had some things to work out with her former relationships: I thought she still loved her ex - boyfriend, years after they broke up. And not to mention that we considered her ex – boyfriend one of our circle as well. Yeah. A big fat mess I was in, all right.

But as much as I knew that I would regret telling her how I felt, I knew I would regret it more if I didn’t tell her how I felt.

So I planned a way to tell her how I felt.

But then again, plans rarely survive their first contact with reality…….

To be Continued...

"Finding the light in the darkest corners of the heart Part 1"

I thought of her again, the girl I loved. I thought of the way her hair fell over her shoulders, of her smiling face and shining eyes, alight with mischief and intelligence. I thought of her laughter, and I felt a twinge of hurt. It hurt because she can never be mine.

I first met her a bit under a year ago. I played Magic: The Gathering at this little cubbyhole of a hobby store at the mall near my home. So there I was, dicking around with my friends and in she walks. She was small, a tad under 5 feet, and had on this cute little uniform on that identified her as a student of a well known university. We were entranced, to say the least. See, we haven’t seen a female of the same species take a liking to the game we played regularly in a while. She and her friends quickly became part of our small community, and we all became friends with her as well. It was great. We had some great times, and shared a lot of laughs. In a way, she became the group’s little sister, our mascot, if you will. We played pranks on each other, shared snacks, game cards and advice. Then things changed, at least for me.

It started a couple of weeks ago. I had been feeling more and bitterer about life than I usually did, which was par the course for me. She came in after having been absent for quite a while, which meant a lot of catching up would be in order. We fell to chatting up on a messenger service while I was at work. As I opened up to her, I felt like my blinders were being taken off, and I began seeing her in a brand new light: not just the group’s little sister, but a person. A woman.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

I Fell. Hard and fast.

So now the question is, where do I go from here?

To Be Continued.....