My last word on the matter

My beloved,

It’s been 2 months since you left. 2 months since my heart broke when you turned your back and departed.

I guess it would be safe to say that I haven’t gotten over you. I dream of you, I think of you constantly.

I keep thinking that there must have been something I could have done to make you stay. I made so many mistakes while we were together, did you so much wrong. If I could only turn back the hours, how I’d take back each and every hurtful thing said and done.

I tried my best to make you happy but I guess I failed. But you, you gave me happiness beyond what I ever dreamed of before, and for that I will always be grateful.

When you were in my arms, my world was complete. Now you’re gone, the world is full of shadows.

It sounds trite but I miss you. Each and everyday without you is torture. I keep willing myself not to go after you, like I really want to because my presence would only cause you problems. Problems you don’t need. So instead I keep to myself. And when everything becomes too much to bear, I tend to lash out at you. I’m sorry. It just gets too difficult to deal with.

I know that if I truly love you I should let go. But how can I? You gave me my balance back, and my sense of life. Without you, I am nothing.

Do you remember the bargain we made? That while we were together and we hadn’t reached the end yet and you tried to make an excuse to leave, I could have you indefinitely? I never took you up on that. Maybe because I didn’t want to force you to stay. Because I wanted you to decide to stay of your own free will.

So here I am now. Alone in the gathering dark of my life.

I love you. I want you back. Could it be any plainer than that?

PS:

This won’t change anything though, so I won’t send you this letter. You may or may not get to read this, since it’ll be up on my page anyways and you may or may not be viewing my page anyway. And I don’t expect anything from you. I just wanted you to know how I feel.